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The moments when you stop recognizing yourself

  One day I woke up and felt different. I could not say why — it was just a feeling living somewhere inside me. I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. It was me, a tired version, but still me. Yet something within me did not feel the same. Something had changed, and I could almost see how this other person was trying to get out and live my life. I told myself it was just a period and it would pass. I thought that once I took a break, I would return to myself again. But weeks later there was still no time to rest. And slowly, the other person began living my life. This person was nervous, anxious, and a bit mean. Unsatisfied, raising his voice, reacting with negativity. Impatient, not particularly kind, tolerating nothing and no one. Patience simply did not exist for him. I did not want him there, but I did not have the strength to fight him. The exhaustion was too big. Inside, I felt confused, disgusted, and ashamed of my actions. I felt lonely and misunders...
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Birthday Girl 2025

 

birthday girl

I had my birthday on the 29th of September. Since it was a Monday, the day was quite busy. I wanted to stay at home and enjoy some quiet time with a movie, a book, and a hot drink. However, our boy was still snotty, and I couldn’t let him go to kindergarten, so relaxation had to wait for another time (hopefully not for life).

Furthermore, we had some work to do. Our Mondays are always full of tasks, and this one was no exception. On top of that, I had a parent meeting at the kindergarten. It lasted two hours — it was very interesting, and now I know more about my boy’s day. However, I couldn’t help looking at the clock often — I just wanted to eat cake and have some champagne.

Okay, it wasn’t a bad day at all. First, I got my dream gift — a treadmill! Since I was a little girl, it had always been my dream to have one of those. Now, living in Yasen, where I can’t go for a walk outside (too many stray dogs and too much mud) or do anything in the garden when the weather is bad, it’s the perfect gift. I have to admit, it stayed packed for a week by the front door, but I finally tested it — and I love it!

Second, a cute little baby orchid. Veni bought it for me, and I really hope it doesn’t die. My flowers usually don’t survive in Yasen — I can’t find a good spot for them, and the cat likes to knock them over. So I’m being extra careful with this one. It’s so beautiful and magical.

orchid,baby orchid,pink


Third, a lovely unexpected surprise: the place we often order food from gave me a delicious biscuit, and I was over the moon. Such a warm and thoughtful gesture.

biscuit


A few days later, my books arrived! One of my closest friends bought me four books — FOUR books! I was so excited when I got them, jumping around, hugging them, and smelling them. Pure happiness.

book,stefani garber,birthday,surprise


Almost forgot about the small present from Veni — an eccentric pen with a flamingo and fluff on top, and a cute little diary.

diary,pen,fun,birthday,surprise


It was a strange birthday, but my partner and our boy were with me — and that’s what matters most. I’m grateful and happy.

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