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For the days when everything feels too much

  Some days feel like a nightmare — full of pressure and rush. On those days I feel tired, overwhelmed, chased by tasks. It feels like my head is going to explode. Everything slips through my fingers and I lose control, unable to do anything and forced to do everything at the same time. The pressure squeezes me in a deadly hug, trying to drain all my energy and leave me barely breathing on the floor. It feels like there is a fog around me and my mind tries to see through it. Everything becomes too loud, too fast, or sometimes painfully slow. Anxiety fills my body like poison. When I feel that I’m losing the present from my sight, I try to stop and breathe. I take a small moment for myself — closing my eyes, trying to find the safe space in my soul, the refuge inside my body — and I tell myself: Everything will be fine. This will pass. You are strong enough. I try to return to the present by focusing on one task, just one thing I can do right now. Finishing that one small thi...
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First vacation after having a child

 

motorcycle, OCD, couple, happy, trip, child

Mixed emotions were boiling in me. For the first time ever I was about to go to on a vacation without my little boy. OK! It is not that big of a deal as he is under 3 years old, however, I have the feeling a part of me is being ripped off. I was so excited and in the meantime very worried to leave my boy. He is used to be with his father and me all the time; however, it seems like he does not care much that we are away. Which both, I enjoy and I am a bit disappointed (I know, I know, I should be happy blah blah). I actually feel very good; I needed this break so much. I decided to take you with me, to write a post for every day. I also want to show you my views and share my experience, thoughts and feelings.

The days before leaving were quite stressful, I still take all my pills for my OCD since I want to secure my well-being on this trip and enjoy my time as much as possible.

Our plan before leaving was:

  • Finish as much work as possible regarding our business – done!
  • Take care of our bees – done! It took us a lot of effort but we made it.
  • Pack everything, including the motorcycle! – done in the last minute, but done!

When we were all ready, we left to my hometown where we spent two nights, did some more work and left our boy to my mother. She took days off her work in order to take care of him. I bet they will have a great time! I hope that the weather will be good, warm and without rain, I have packed my swimming suit I want to wear it!

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