A Little More Like Myself

 

I almost can’t believe it.

Just one day without tasks, and I felt so much better.

Saturday was full of rest and my book.
A walk in the park with my family.
No rush.
No overthinking.

I even enjoyed an afternoon nap.

Blissful.

And somehow, I had energy to do a 40-minute Zumba class at home.

Not because I forced myself.
Not because I had to.
But because my body finally had a little space to move.

Maybe I didn’t need more pressure.
Maybe I just needed rest.

Sunday was our day with the bees.

Those little creatures always do something good to my nervous system.
They make me slow down.
They make me pay attention.
They remind me that not everything has to be rushed.

Again, an afternoon nap.

And my favorite part of the day — gathering cherries.

Nothing extraordinary.
Nothing perfectly planned.
Just a quiet Sunday afternoon.

Sunlight on my face.
Bare feet on the grass.
Birds somewhere in the background.
A bowl slowly filling with cherries.

And me, for the first time in a while, not trying to fix everything.

Just being there.

I noticed something small but important.

I felt lighter.

Not only because I had lost 2 kg.
That was nice, of course.

But what felt even better was the energy.

The feeling that my body was starting to respond again.
The feeling that maybe I hadn’t completely lost myself.
Maybe I had just been very, very tired.

There is something beautiful about ordinary moments when you have been overwhelmed for too long.

A book.
A nap.
A walk.
A little movement.
Bees.
Cherries.
Grass under your feet.

Small things.

But somehow, they made me feel a little more like myself.

I still don’t have all the answers.

I am still far from the way I want to look.
I still have things I want to change.
I still don’t feel completely light inside.

But maybe I don’t have to solve everything in this second.
Or this day.
Or this week.

Maybe I don’t have to turn feeling better into another task.

Maybe I can just keep choosing small things that bring me back to life.

Rest.
Movement that feels good.
Fresh air.
Quiet moments.
Food from the garden.
Time with my family.
Being kinder to myself.

Not a big transformation.
Not a perfect new beginning.

Just one weekend that reminded me that I am still here.

A little rested.
A little lighter.
A little more awake.

A little more like myself.

Read more here:

• I Do Not Understand When This Happened - when I realized I had forgotten myself.
• The Price of Always Pushing Through - what happens when I keep pushing through.