What Helps Me – Part 1

 When my mind gets loud, these are the things that help me.

Part 1

Through the years, I have found certain activities that help me distract myself and help me calm down.  Sometimes when my anxiety is high, I feel hopeless and do not know what to do. It still feels strange every time it happens for 2 reasons – first, I have experienced this in the last 10 years and second, I went to cognitive-behavioral therapy and I should know what to do. However, when I have these intense intrusive thoughts it’s very hard to change the way I think. My body starts to react too. For example, my heart starts to beat fast and loud, I have this awful stomach pain (many times I start to vomit), I cannot stand in one place, my breathing becomes deep and fast, I feel my body tingles and more. Not every time I experience everything at the same time but usually, when I am much stressed and I have severe intrusive thoughts they come in a “delightful” package of torture.

So what do I do? It depends on where I am and who I’m with, but here is a list (part 1):

1.       Warm shower

I love water. I believe that water takes away stress. It helps me relax. It gives me something to do so I don’t focus so much on my thoughts. I like to think I’m not only washing my body, but also my mind. That it will help me be present and more focused, like washing away the “bad” thoughts. “Being in hot water effectively helps relieve body tension and can help soothe muscle fatigue. In a survey, people reported less stress, pain, and fatigue, as well as better emotional and mental health.” (source: www.healthline.com) Just make sure it is not that hot because it could do you damage, especially if you have high blood pressure. When I get back home in the evening I take a shower and think let the stress go away and let me enjoy being with my family. I do not feel stress every day but a warm shower always puts me in a better mood.

2.       Breathing

When I’m having an anxiety or panic attack, I try to take a slow, deep breath and exhale slowly. It works sometimes, depends on how serious my situation is maybe it’s better to say “how serious my mind thinks the situation is”). It makes me focus on something else and it calms me down. I will be honest occasionally it makes me want to vomit even more. In that case, everything goes to hell; however, I try to do another activity to help my condition. Let us focus on the useful part!

According to www.calm.com “Breathing can have a powerful effect on our nervous system. The nervous system is the complex network that controls everything we feel and do. Breathing exercises can impact our nervous system in the following ways:

·       Slowing your heart rate

·       Lowering your blood pressure

·       Increasing oxygen flow

When you practice deep breathing techniques regularly, your body starts to learn a new pattern. Over time, this can lead to a general feeling of calm and relaxation, making it easier to handle moments of anxiety when they arise.”

There are different breathing techniques. I recently started doing some breathing exercises in the morning. I downloaded an app so I do between 5 and 7 min breathing exercises after a 20 min (more or less) stretching. This is my morning routine these days.

3.       Workouts

Before I talk about workouts, I have to share something: I have an issue with how I look. I always see something “wrong”. For example, my legs are not skinny enough or my abs are not visible enough. And yes, I love workouts. Through the years, I have played different sports. I enjoy being active. I get compliments, I believe I am slim and good-looking, however, not enough. When I skip a workout or the food I eat is not healthy enough it bothers me a lot. I stress myself. I tend to think I am not committed to a healthy life-style and I do not fit the beauty standard my mind has created. I am working on that. Probably I will write a whole post concerning this. More importantly, how could a workout help?

Harvard health publishing answering the question:

·       “Engaging in exercise diverts you from the very thing you are anxious about.

·       Moving your body decreases muscle tension, lowering the body’s contribution to feeling anxious.

·       Getting your heart rate up changes brain chemistry, increasing the availability of important anti-anxiety neurochemicals, including serotonin, gamma aminobutyric acid (GABA), brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), and endocannabinoids.

·       Exercise activates frontal regions of the brain responsible for executive function, which helps control the amygdala, our reacting system to real or imagined threats to our survival.

·       Exercising regularly builds up resources that bolster resilience against stormy emotions.”

Lately, I do not do my regular workouts (I did them 5 times a week). I feel good, I will start them again, but I am focused on something else now and it does not bother me (for now), which is fantastic. Of course, it was after working on this issue with my therapist.

4.       Telling everything you do

Okay, this might sound strange. This technique I learned from my therapist. It works on me very well. In a panic situation, I still remember applying it. Again, depending on how bad I feel it takes different time to work and take down the pressure. It is very simple –just say everything you’re doing. For example, “I am walking in the kitchen, I am washing my hands, I am drying my hands, I am going to the table, I am drinking water, etc.” It makes you focus on the present situation, makes you follow everything you do. It helps you understand what you are doing, because some OCD types you might think or believe you are doing another thing. For example, the OCD mind - “I am hurting that person”, reality – “I am not doing anything that threats or harms anyone”. It is important to stay present. It is important to realize what you do in the moment. To focus here and now. Try doing it 5-10 min.

5.       Sharing with my partner

I used to feel very ashamed to talk about my OCD. I still am, but I try to do my best. Sharing with my partner (half the thoughts usually or a lighter version of the thought) helps. Telling the intrusive thought aloud makes the situation different. It often happens - the moment I say it I understand how ridiculous it is. This makes me calmer. I even laugh occasionally. It does not help every time. It is possible to get worse depending on the reaction of my boyfriend. However, I believe that sharing is helpful just be careful who you share. Have trust in that person and make sure he knows a little about OCD for better understanding.

If you’re trying to find what actually helps:

→ What helps me – part 2  

→ Small steps big results