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For the days when everything feels too much

  Some days feel like a nightmare — full of pressure and rush. On those days I feel tired, overwhelmed, chased by tasks. It feels like my head is going to explode. Everything slips through my fingers and I lose control, unable to do anything and forced to do everything at the same time. The pressure squeezes me in a deadly hug, trying to drain all my energy and leave me barely breathing on the floor. It feels like there is a fog around me and my mind tries to see through it. Everything becomes too loud, too fast, or sometimes painfully slow. Anxiety fills my body like poison. When I feel that I’m losing the present from my sight, I try to stop and breathe. I take a small moment for myself — closing my eyes, trying to find the safe space in my soul, the refuge inside my body — and I tell myself: Everything will be fine. This will pass. You are strong enough. I try to return to the present by focusing on one task, just one thing I can do right now. Finishing that one small thi...

Easter holidays 2025

 

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This Easter I had so much fun with my little boy. We have a tradition in my country to paint boiled eggs in different colors. I don’t go into the religious aspect, I like to focus on the fun part. So we paint them in whatever color we want (just the first one should be red), we can draw them, put stickers and so on. I enjoy it very much. My son is old enough to help me paint the eggs this year and I bought different paints and stickers. He was so excited, smiling and wanting to participate in everything. I thought he will make a huge mess and I have to clean like crazy after that, but he was very gentle and careful. The tradition says we can paint them on Thursday or Saturday. My boy and I did it on Thursday and on Saturday; he went to paint eggs with his grandmother at her home. On the next day – Sunday we smash the eggs - it is like a competition. It is a “fight” between the members of the family. Each of us choses an egg and we go against each other, smashing tops and tails of the eggs. It is believed that the winner (whoever's egg does not crack) will have the best health that year.

We also received some good news. Finally, we managed to find people to rent our apartment in the big city. I am so relieved that it is over, I feel calmer. At the same time, we revisited an apartment we would like to buy. It needs a lot of work; however, we decided to take it. After we waited 3 months to see it again (we saw it last year for the first time), the communication with the owner was more than awful. He replied slowly, he rarely picked up his phone when we called. I got annoyed by his behavior as it was a lovely opportunity to live next to a beautiful park on the banks of the Danube, I just swallowed all the things I wanted to say to him and waited.

Unfortunately, his father got sick and went to a hospital, which made our communication even more difficult. Time was against us because on one hand, we had to go back to my home city to sign a contract with the tenants of the apartment and on the other; the owner of our “future” apartment does not live in the country and was leaving soon.

In the end, we agreed on a price. We rushed to banks to see which could give us a loan with a the best interest, we called to make an appointment to sign a contract and the seller stopped answering us. I was devastated, angry and disappointed. I thought that finally, things are getting better. I just hope that something better is waiting for us and that is why this did not work out. We are still searching for a nice place to move to, hopefully, this summer.

 

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