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The moments when you stop recognizing yourself

  One day I woke up and felt different. I could not say why — it was just a feeling living somewhere inside me. I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. It was me, a tired version, but still me. Yet something within me did not feel the same. Something had changed, and I could almost see how this other person was trying to get out and live my life. I told myself it was just a period and it would pass. I thought that once I took a break, I would return to myself again. But weeks later there was still no time to rest. And slowly, the other person began living my life. This person was nervous, anxious, and a bit mean. Unsatisfied, raising his voice, reacting with negativity. Impatient, not particularly kind, tolerating nothing and no one. Patience simply did not exist for him. I did not want him there, but I did not have the strength to fight him. The exhaustion was too big. Inside, I felt confused, disgusted, and ashamed of my actions. I felt lonely and misunders...
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My Brother’s 18th Birthday Party

 

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This was the reason we dropped most of our tasks and came back to my hometown — my brother turned 18! Which, in Bulgaria, means he is officially an adult. Time flies so fast — he and my sister (almost 15) are growing up so quickly.

The birthday celebration was more like a family gathering at a restaurant. Part of his mother’s side of the family (he and I don’t share the same biological parents) came as well, including some relatives from Germany. We had an absolute blast! There were drinks, lots of laughter — it was a truly lovely experience.

I honestly can’t remember the last time I had so much fun. My glass was always full of wine, and I loved it! It was a bit noisy, but I still managed to chat with my brother, my sister, my family, and even some of my brother’s friends — who thought I was 10 years younger, which of course made me like them even more!

It was such a great night. At first, people were a bit sad that Veni and I left our little boy at home — but since he usually goes to bed around 8:00–8:30 p.m., and the party started at 7 p.m., we decided not to take him and instead enjoy the evening as a couple — with plenty of drinks and celebration.

My sister and I even had a mini photo session in the restaurant’s bathroom, which turned into a 10-minute laugh fest. We don’t see each other very often, so when we do, we just can’t stop talking. As teenagers, they both have so much going on in their lives, and emotions are running high — someone needs to help cool them down now and then.

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After the restaurant closed, we went to my brother’s apartment and had a few more drinks. From what I saw and heard, Veni had a great night too — even when we weren’t next to each other, I could hear him laughing.

I’m so happy and grateful that we got to share this moment together. I think it will stay with us as one of those special memories we’ll always look back on with a smile.


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