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This Is Not for Everyone

  I am not here seeking admiration or devotion. I am here to be — and to show others that this way of being is not scary. I write because it is my salvation from messy thoughts and overwhelming days. Writing puts my mind in order. It gives me space for self-love and for catching my breath. I cannot be here all the time. Actually, I probably could — but I do not want to. I do not want to pay the price of viral fame. I do not want to lose myself in the illusion of the world around me. I do not want to forget where it all started or lose the ground under my feet. Being able to disappear is a necessity for me. It allows me to rest, to recharge, and to stay focused and calm. I disappear from the noise. From expectations. From the pressure that tells you that if you do not constantly do more, you will lose track or fail. When I come back, I see the world more clearly. Without pink glasses. Without dark thoughts taking over. I feel grounded again. I can look at...
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It is just a period

 

coffee time

I don’t know about you, but I am so sick of hearing this sentence: “It’s just a period, it will pass.”

Yes, maybe you’re right — it will pass, and maybe it really is just a period. But I feel like I’m going through period after period after period… and honestly, it’s getting a bit too much.

I’m tired of waiting for things to pass, tired of waiting for a “better time.” Don’t get me wrong — I’m not a complete pessimist. I just wish there was a break between these endless periods, so I could enjoy life a little more.

Okay, maybe I sound too negative. The truth is, I do enjoy my life. Every day I find something to be grateful for. I love my long morning walks with my little boy. I do my best to balance work, home chores, and motherhood. But still… I often catch myself wondering: “When is this going to end?” or “Why this, why now?”

When I talk with friends, I see their struggles too. I see how they’re trying to cope with life. And yet, I always feel like I’m not doing enough.

Maybe this storm in my head comes from the huge amount of work we’ve had lately. I’m grateful for it — we need to renovate the house — but I feel like I’m walking in a fog, searching for the right path or formula to balance everything, and failing my own standards every time.

It could also be because my birthday is coming up. I think most people review their life choices around that time. I’m scared that I’m missing something.

My OCD kept me in a cage for far too long. Now I’m finally learning to breathe again, destroying the obstacles around me, breaking free. I want to do more, to experience more, to truly live.

I believe the best thing to do is to stay patient, focus on the daily tasks, set a few bigger goals, and — most importantly — take care of your health. Because nothing is possible without it.

I’m open to any advice. Have a great day! <3

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