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The moments when you stop recognizing yourself

  One day I woke up and felt different. I could not say why — it was just a feeling living somewhere inside me. I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. It was me, a tired version, but still me. Yet something within me did not feel the same. Something had changed, and I could almost see how this other person was trying to get out and live my life. I told myself it was just a period and it would pass. I thought that once I took a break, I would return to myself again. But weeks later there was still no time to rest. And slowly, the other person began living my life. This person was nervous, anxious, and a bit mean. Unsatisfied, raising his voice, reacting with negativity. Impatient, not particularly kind, tolerating nothing and no one. Patience simply did not exist for him. I did not want him there, but I did not have the strength to fight him. The exhaustion was too big. Inside, I felt confused, disgusted, and ashamed of my actions. I felt lonely and misunders...

It is just a period

 

coffee time

I don’t know about you, but I am so sick of hearing this sentence: “It’s just a period, it will pass.”

Yes, maybe you’re right — it will pass, and maybe it really is just a period. But I feel like I’m going through period after period after period… and honestly, it’s getting a bit too much.

I’m tired of waiting for things to pass, tired of waiting for a “better time.” Don’t get me wrong — I’m not a complete pessimist. I just wish there was a break between these endless periods, so I could enjoy life a little more.

Okay, maybe I sound too negative. The truth is, I do enjoy my life. Every day I find something to be grateful for. I love my long morning walks with my little boy. I do my best to balance work, home chores, and motherhood. But still… I often catch myself wondering: “When is this going to end?” or “Why this, why now?”

When I talk with friends, I see their struggles too. I see how they’re trying to cope with life. And yet, I always feel like I’m not doing enough.

Maybe this storm in my head comes from the huge amount of work we’ve had lately. I’m grateful for it — we need to renovate the house — but I feel like I’m walking in a fog, searching for the right path or formula to balance everything, and failing my own standards every time.

It could also be because my birthday is coming up. I think most people review their life choices around that time. I’m scared that I’m missing something.

My OCD kept me in a cage for far too long. Now I’m finally learning to breathe again, destroying the obstacles around me, breaking free. I want to do more, to experience more, to truly live.

I believe the best thing to do is to stay patient, focus on the daily tasks, set a few bigger goals, and — most importantly — take care of your health. Because nothing is possible without it.

I’m open to any advice. Have a great day! <3

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