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Hi and welcome to my messy mind! It took me 10 years to finally step up and talk about this. I still do not feel brave enough to do it but even if I help one person, it will worth it. My name is Kristina and I am have OCD with intrusive thoughts. Writing helps me relax, focus and keep my mind calmer. I really hope that my blog will be beneficial for others who struggle just like me. I do not have a medical degree so everything I am sharing is my personal experience and how I am dealing with it.
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How does the OCD brain work?
This was one of my first questions when I found
out about my condition. I was very interested to learn more so I could better
understand myself. In addition, it was very important to me to be able to
explain to others what is “wrong” with me. I have to admit, I still struggle with some people’s perception about
mental illnesses, however, I believe knowledge is power and I am willing to
help others like me to feel safe and good about themselves.
It is important to point out that I could not
find information of what exactly causes OCD. It is claimed that people with OCD
have differences in the brain function and structure. When I have asked doctors
about it the usual reply was “There is no clear answer yet for what causes OCD,
however, it is believed that your brain cannot absorb serotonin well”.
Serotonin is also knows as a happy hormone. It acts
as both a neurotransmitter (a substance that nerves use to send messages to one
another) and a vasoconstrictor (a substance that causes blood vessels to
narrow). It plays an important role in regulating aggression, body temperature,
mood, sleep, vomiting, blood clotting, sexuality, and appetite. It is also
involved in aging, learning, and memory.
I have found information that not only
serotonin as a neurotransmitter could be the reason for OCD, but also glutamate
(an excitatory neurotransmitter, which means it causes neurons to fire off a
message to the next cell - people with OCD tend
to have higher glutamate levels than other people) and gamma-aminobutyric acid
(it can have a calming effect on the brain, as it blocks certain alert signals.
Low GABA levels are associated with OCD).
Difference in the brain structure
There are certain brain areas that are associated
with OCD symptoms. Neuroimaging studies have revealed structural and functional
differences in the brains of individuals with OCD compared to those without the
condition.
Thalamus - A structure in the diencephalon that
is responsible for processing and further forwarding sensory signals to the
cerebral cortex. The thalamus shows more activation in patients with OCD
compared to healthy comparison subjects. This is likely related to the role of
the thalamus as a relay and integrative site for other brain areas activated in
OCD, such as the basal ganglia and the orbitofrontal cortex.
Orbitofrontal cortex - is the area of the
prefrontal cortex that sits just above the orbits. It has extensive connections
with sensory areas as well as limbic system structures involved in emotion and
memory. The orbitofrontal cortex can be considered as the apex of the neural
networks of the social brain and is critical to the adaptation of behavior in
response to predicted changes in reinforcement (Rushworth, Behrens, Rudebeck,
& Walton, 2007). The cortex is often hyperactive in people with OCD, which
may contribute to the intrusive, anxiety-provoking thoughts characteristic of
the disorder (obsessions).
Anterior cingulate cortex - is recognized as an
important cortical center of integrations of pain with emotional and
situational cues. Many studies attribute specific functions such as error
detection, anticipation of tasks, attention, motivation, and modulation of emotional
responses. Overactivity in this area may contribute to the heightened anxiety
and the need for perfectionism common in some forms of OCD.
As far as I know it is not needed to scan your
brain to find out what is “wrong” when having an OCD. Doctors, such as
psychiatrists and clinical psychologists, could diagnose it. The idea of this
post is to give you a brief understanding of the OCD brain, it is far more
complicated and I am not a professional so it is just a start if you want to
know more. There is plenty of research on the
Internet. I find some of them quite interesting, especially those that observe
the “beginning” of the OCD in kids.
I ended up crying while writing this. It is the
middle of the night but I could not get to sleep because I was thinking about
this post. Over the years, I have heard so many things, such as “Having OCD
does not make you special.”, “Everything is in your brain just stop thinking
about it.”, “This is nonsense you are just drawing attention.”, “Throw away
your pills, you do not need them.” and so on. I have heard them so many times
and it hurts a lot because usually they come from close friends and family. I
really hope that with time people will become more open about mental illnesses
and better understand that it is not a modern way to draw attention. I will do
my best to help the process.
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