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The moments when you stop recognizing yourself

  One day I woke up and felt different. I could not say why — it was just a feeling living somewhere inside me. I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. It was me, a tired version, but still me. Yet something within me did not feel the same. Something had changed, and I could almost see how this other person was trying to get out and live my life. I told myself it was just a period and it would pass. I thought that once I took a break, I would return to myself again. But weeks later there was still no time to rest. And slowly, the other person began living my life. This person was nervous, anxious, and a bit mean. Unsatisfied, raising his voice, reacting with negativity. Impatient, not particularly kind, tolerating nothing and no one. Patience simply did not exist for him. I did not want him there, but I did not have the strength to fight him. The exhaustion was too big. Inside, I felt confused, disgusted, and ashamed of my actions. I felt lonely and misunders...
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Reading – one of my true loves

Books,reading,love,writer,fantasy,novel


As a child, I did not enjoy reading. All I wanted to do was to stay outside with friends, playing games. I never slept in the afternoon but if somebody made me read after two pages I was asleep, another reason why I did not enjoy it. I hated to sleep, I did not see any point in it just a waste of time.

However, when I was around 15 years old and I started my first job at a pet store, I felt bored from time to time. I asked my mother (she loves reading) to give me a book, something romantic and interesting. I am very romantic! She was surprised and gave me one, of course, I do not remember the name and I started to read it when there were no clients at the store.

I felt in love with it. I finished it very quickly and asked for another one. This is how it all started. At first, I was reading her type of literature – criminal, romantic, mystery. When I was 17 years old, I switched to books that open your mind, teaching you how to cope with life and how to get what you wanted.

Now I read whatever I feel like - I used to read only psychology books, now I am in love with fantasy. I love the smell of books, I like to hold them, hug them, they make me so happy! Despite that I love buying books and putting them on my shelf, I decided to buy an e-reader due to lack of space. At first, I hated the idea, but now I enjoy it.

Right now, I am reading Sarah J. Maas’ books and I am over the moon. I love the way she describes the worlds, the emotions and how she makes me believe in every character’s story. Since January I have read 8 books, and I am in the middle of the 9th. I wish I could spend all day and night just reading!

The characters in these fantasy books make me think about myself. I am not sure how it has influenced me, but I somehow compare the difficulties and hard times in my life with theirs. It is ridiculous, I know; I have not been in a dungeon and tortured, however, I have felt lonely, sad and did not want to do anything in my life, my heart has been broken, and I always had the feeling that I am not enough. These days I see the difference in me focusing on my positive features, accepting, and loving how I am.

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