August = madness

August was supposed to be quiet.

For me, it turned into chaos.

This month has been absolute madness! 

Usually, in Bulgaria, August is a vacation month.
Most people go to the seaside.
Or the mountains.
And the big cities become empty. 

That sounds great—but not for me,
because August always brings me surprises.
Work-related ones.

I wanted to sit down and write.

But I was exhausted.
So tired of the laptop
that I couldn’t even open it.

I think this will be a bit longer than my usual posts, because I want to share how my last 20 days have gone.

At the beginning of the month, my mother came to help us.
Well, actually, I asked her to come and help
with our little boy,
the house,
and everything that comes with it — chores, cooking, laundry, and so on because we started the honey harvest.
Even though most of our bees died this year, our precious little survivors still managed to gather some honey. We were quite surprised, since it’s been such a dry year here with almost no rain, which directly affects honey production.

My mother is my hero.
She came and fully took control
of the house and our toddler,
always wanting to do more.
She truly enjoys her time with our child and didn’t mind at all the extra things I asked her to do. I love her so much. She’s an amazing mother—always there when you need her. 

She cried at the bus station when she left, as she always does, and it breaks my heart every single time.

Veni is still teaching half of the day, so I am alone with the little one.
I have to admit — it’s becoming too much and I can’t wait for him to start kindergarten. 

On top of that, we had a deadline.
Lots of projects that I had to write, so the pressure was huge. And, of course, we had even more on our minds: a friend of my father’s agreed to do the renovations of our new house.
One weekend, they came to see the house, make an initial evaluation, and check the condition. He brought his son along, too.

The moment I saw them, I felt at home.
My father and his friend have known each other since they were three years old—more than 50 years of friendship. When I was little, I grew up with his children: his daughter (four years younger than me) and his son (nine years younger). I loved spending time with them—I have such great memories. 

I was so happy to show them the house we chose —

the place where we’ll build our home and raise our child.

The following week was insane.
The work was more than I could handle, especially with my child always with me.
I had to write projects for five different companies, plus one for one of our own. The stress was eating me alive, and I was really worried about how I would feel when it was all over. To make things even more intense, my father and his wife were about to visit for a few days, and I didn’t want to be down, anxious, or caught up in intrusive thoughts.

But I’m so glad that didn’t happen. I actually managed everything really well. My biggest motivation was simple - I’m doing this for our future.. I truly want to move to Vidin and finally do everything I can’t do right now.

So this is the short version. Remember: if you have anxiety or OCD, it is not a verdict.

It has lows.
It has highs.

And it will get better.

If life ever feels like everything is happening all at once:

→ The clock and the list  

→ For the days when everything feels too much