August = madness

This month has been absolute madness! Usually, in Bulgaria, August is considered a vacation month. Most people go to the seaside or the mountains, and the big cities become empty. That sounds great—but not for me, because August always brings me surprises. Work-related ones. I wanted to sit down and write a post, but I was so exhausted and so disgusted with working on the laptop that I just couldn’t make myself do it.

I think this will be a bit longer than my usual posts, because I want to share how my last 20 days have gone.

At the beginning of the month, my mother came to visit us. Well, actually, I asked her to come and help with our little boy, the house (and everything that goes with it—chores, cooking, laundry, and so on) because we started the honey harvest. Even though most of our bees died this year, our precious little survivors still managed to gather some honey. We were quite surprised, since it’s been such a dry year here with almost no rain, which directly affects honey production.

My mother is my hero. She came and fully took control of the house and our toddler, always wanting to do more and more. She truly enjoys her time with our child and didn’t mind at all the extra things I asked her to do. I love her so much. She’s an amazing mother—always there when you need her. She cried at the bus station when she left, as she always does, and it breaks my heart every single time.

Veni is still teaching half of the day, so I am alone with the little one. I admit, it’s getting to be too much, and I can’t wait for him to start kindergarten. On top of that, we had a deadline with lots of projects that I had to write, so the pressure was huge. And, of course, we had even more on our minds: a friend of my father’s agreed to do the renovations of our new house. One weekend he came with my father to see the house, make an initial evaluation, and check the condition. He brought his son along, too.

The moment I saw them, I felt at home. My father and his friend have known each other since they were three years old—more than 50 years of friendship. When I was little, I grew up with his children: his daughter (four years younger than me) and his son (nine years younger). I loved spending time with them—I have such great memories. I was so happy to share with them the house we chose to live in, the place where we’ll build our home and raise our child.

The following week was insane. The work was more than I could handle, especially with my child being with me all the time. I had to write projects for five different companies, plus one for one of our own. The stress was eating me alive, and I was really worried about how I would feel when it was all over. To make things even more intense, my father and his wife were about to visit for a few days, and I didn’t want to be down, anxious, or caught up in intrusive thoughts.

But I’m so glad that didn’t happen. I actually managed everything really well. My greatest motivation was knowing that I’m doing it all for our future—for our house. I truly want to move to Vidin and finally do everything I can’t do right now.

So, this is all in a short summary. Remember: if you have anxiety or OCD, it is not a verdict. It has its lows and its highs, and it will get better. You will get stronger—so enjoy your life!