I Am Not Broken. I Am Exhausted.

 

Since October, I’ve been carrying a pressure I cannot quite name. I had to give more of myself in every direction — work, home, responsibility — until there was nothing left that felt like me.

I look in the mirror and see a tired woman trying to keep everything together without a backup plan if she collapses. I feel close to burnout. My head hurts. I am nervous. I raise my voice too easily — and I hate that version of myself.

My body is already warning me. The headaches are not random. They feel like a quiet “slow down.” But slowing down feels unacceptable right now. There is too much work. My little boy has been sick for 20 days. I took on more so my partner could study. I kept going.

And now I feel like I am losing the ground beneath my feet.

Right now, I need silence.
No voices. No schedules. No explanations.
Just existing. Breathing. Feeling.

Maybe in that silence I would find my loving self again — the one I seem to have placed behind everything else. She deserves care. She deserves space. She deserves to be first sometimes.

I don’t need a dramatic escape.
Maybe it starts with a bath.
A cry.
Fresh food. Water.
Staring at a tree long enough to remember who I am.

I am not broken.
I am exhausted.

And if you feel this too, you are not alone.