The Scam Was Real. The Panic Felt Familiar.

They tried to take money from my bank card.

They didn’t succeed.

But what happened inside my body afterwards scared me almost as much as the scam itself.

Because I knew that feeling.

I had felt it countless times before — during an intrusive thought.

It was Sunday, and I was already way over my limit.

You know that feeling when you have already done enough, but some part of you decides that enough is for losers, so you keep pushing?

Well, let me share this story as a reminder that sometimes we really need to know when to stop.

By Sunday evening, I had done what felt like a thousand things.

But I still wanted to do more.

My partner is recovering from surgery and cannot lift heavy things or drive for now, which means a lot of the everyday responsibilities are falling on me.

Add a child, a home, chores, errands and living outside the city — where almost everything requires getting in the car — and you get the picture.

I was tired.

Probably more tired than I was willing to admit.

Earlier, I had posted a few things my little boy no longer uses for sale. They were still in good condition, and I thought someone else might benefit from them.

Nothing complicated.

Or so I thought.

Long story short, someone sent me a link.

I followed it.

I shouldn’t have.

I was far too tired to stop and think properly.

They tried to withdraw money from my bank card.

Thankfully, they didn’t succeed.

I blocked my card immediately and changed my passwords. The next morning, I went to the bank to make sure everything was okay and that I was completely out of danger.

Only then did I finally start to breathe a little easier.

But why am I telling you this?

First, because I want to remind you — and myself — not to push past every limit just because we technically still can.

We need to learn how to be gentle, loving and caring companions to ourselves.

Nobody lives inside your body except you.

When something feels like too much, maybe it really is too much.

Step back.

Rest.

Think.

Observe.

You do not always have to push through.

But there was something else about that evening that surprised me even more.

I noticed what fear was doing to my body.

I have lived with OCD and intrusive thoughts for more than ten years, so fear is not exactly unfamiliar territory for me.

I have written before about the way intrusive thoughts can suddenly take over an ordinary moment and pull me straight into fear.

And that Sunday evening, I suddenly recognized the pattern.

My stomach became one huge ball of nerves. I felt nauseous.

My anxiety became so intense that my arms and legs felt strangely light, almost as if I might collapse.

I was shaking slightly and could not stay still.

Then came the waves — hot, cold, restless, uncomfortable.

I started cleaning and doing things almost compulsively because keeping busy felt easier than sitting with the fear.

And I kept going back to my partner for reassurance.

Everything is going to be okay, right?

They can’t take the money now, right?

Are you sure everything is fine?

And that was when it hit me.

I knew all of this.

The nausea.

The shaking.

The restless energy.

The desperate need for reassurance.

The feeling that something terrible was about to happen and that I had to do something immediately.

Sometimes I experience all of these things together. Sometimes only a few of them.

But I have felt them many times while struggling with intrusive thoughts.

The threat that Sunday evening was real.

The intrusive thoughts are different.

But my body reacted to both with a frightening similarity.

And somehow that realization gave me a completely new perspective on just how powerful fear can feel.

A feeling can be overwhelming.

It can shake your body.

It can make your stomach turn.

It can make you desperate for reassurance.

And still, the intensity of that feeling does not always tell you what is actually happening.

That is something therapy has been helping me understand for years.

Therapy has also helped me look much further back and understand where some of that fear may have started.

And here I have to say something very personal.

If it wasn’t for my therapist, I genuinely do not know where I would be in this journey.

Choosing therapy has been one of the best decisions I have ever made.

I will always be grateful for her patience, professionalism, support and the years she has spent helping me become more present, more confident and more myself.

I actually got emotional while writing this.

I started crying.

Because sometimes you do not realize how far you have come until something happens and you suddenly see the difference between the person you were and the person you are becoming.

So please — if you are struggling and you have been thinking about asking for professional help, consider giving it a chance.

I cannot promise what therapy will look like for you.

I cannot promise that it will be easy.

But I can tell you that asking for help changed something important in my life.

Nobody deserves to spend their life trapped in fear.

And if there is one thing I want My Messy Mind to stand for, it is this:

More understanding.

More support.

More acceptance.

And hopefully, a little less fear.

Maybe Your Story Belongs Here Too

Fear can look very different from one person to another.

Sometimes it comes from something that is actually happening. Sometimes it comes from our own thoughts. And sometimes our bodies react so strongly that it becomes difficult to tell what deserves our attention and what simply needs time to pass.

If you have a story about anxiety, OCD, intrusive thoughts, therapy, or a moment that taught you something unexpected about yourself, I would love to hear it.

You do not have to have everything figured out before you share. 🤍

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Just honest stories about OCD, motherhood, fear, healing and the messy life happening in between.

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