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This Is Not for Everyone

  I am not here seeking admiration or devotion. I am here to be — and to show others that this way of being is not scary. I write because it is my salvation from messy thoughts and overwhelming days. Writing puts my mind in order. It gives me space for self-love and for catching my breath. I cannot be here all the time. Actually, I probably could — but I do not want to. I do not want to pay the price of viral fame. I do not want to lose myself in the illusion of the world around me. I do not want to forget where it all started or lose the ground under my feet. Being able to disappear is a necessity for me. It allows me to rest, to recharge, and to stay focused and calm. I disappear from the noise. From expectations. From the pressure that tells you that if you do not constantly do more, you will lose track or fail. When I come back, I see the world more clearly. Without pink glasses. Without dark thoughts taking over. I feel grounded again. I can look at...
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Too Much Work Stress – Linden as a Solution

 

linden,tea,healthy


Lately, we have had so much work that it feels like someone is pouring stress over me. Running a family business adds another level of pressure, but the hardest part was going back to work after 10 days of not even touching a laptop. I try to do my best, but it always feels like it is not enough. In the evenings, I often find myself thinking about what I could have done better or more. At the same time, I feel how tired I am, and how intrusive thoughts try to conquer my mind—but I still manage to keep them away.

My son is not attending kindergarten yet, and in Bulgaria it is mandatory to start at age 4. I really wanted him to stay with us as long as possible, but I can see how much attention and how many activities he needs—and I simply cannot offer him everything. On top of that, I still need to work, manage the blog, and stay active on Facebook and Instagram. It is all becoming too much. Maybe by the end of this year, we will enroll him in kindergarten. I believe he will enjoy it—and it will give us more time to focus and work more effectively.

Back to the high stress levels. I feel a pressure inside me that makes me doubt almost everything I do. From time to time, I get intrusive thoughts. I try not to let them bother me too much, but I know my OCD tends to worsen when the stress subsides and I am calm again. I still have my medication, just in case, because I am afraid all this might trigger a crisis—and I will “shut down.” That is definitely not an option.

Therefore, my therapy was… gathering linden! Moreover, it worked—a little. Here in Vidin, in the main park along the Danube River, there are so many linden trees, and the aroma is absolutely stunning. I cannot get enough of it! It brings back the sweetest memories from childhood—going to my village and every day for breakfast drinking linden tea.

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Veni really enjoyed watching me jump to reach the higher branches and laughed a lot. He even helped—when he was not chasing our little boy. I enjoyed the activity so much that I am already thinking of doing it again. That way, we will have some amazing tea to enjoy during the winter!

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I truly believe that when you feel down, you should take small steps to help yourself feel better. I suggest starting with a simple walk in nature—let your mind breathe and calm down. Then the good ideas will follow, and you will probably return home feeling a little bit lighter.

 

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