This Is Not for Everyone

 

I don’t want to be everywhere.

I don’t want to be constant.

I don’t want to be “always on.”

Sometimes, I need to disappear.

I am not here seeking admiration or devotion.
I am here to be — and to show others that this way of being is not scary.

I write because it is my salvation from messy thoughts and overwhelming days.

Writing puts my mind in order.

It gives me space for self-love.

For catching my breath.

I cannot be here all the time.
Actually, I probably could — but I do not want to.
I do not want to pay the price of viral fame.

I do not want to lose myself in the illusion of the world around me.
I do not want to forget where it all started or lose the ground under my feet.

Being able to disappear is a necessity for me.
It allows me to rest, to recharge, and to stay focused and calm.

I disappear from the noise.
From expectations.
From the pressure that tells you that if you do not constantly do more, you will lose track or fail.

When I come back, I see the world more clearly.
Without pink glasses.
Without dark thoughts taking over.

I feel grounded again.
I can look at situations with clarity, where emotions are no longer leading the parade.

For me, a calm mind is one of the biggest priorities.
Living with OCD means that calm allows me to act from analysis and balanced judgment — not from fear, not from the urge to run or hide.

I am here for the silent ones.
For the insecure.
For anyone who needs support, in whatever form it comes.

I have shown my face.
I am not a mirage.
And I believe that is enough.

I do not write about everything in my life.
Especially not about my childhood, where many of my traumas were created.
I do not need to defend myself for that choice.

This small universe — mymessymind —

is not for the loud and confident.

Not for those who know best or believe they are perfect.

This place is for the broken ones.
For those who glue the pieces of their souls back together slowly —
with love, patience, and kindness.

If this spoke to you, read this next:

→ Harm OCD

→ I Am Not Broken. I Am Exhausted.