Left with a Broken Heart

 

I didn’t disappear.

Life just became too much.

I’ve been away for a while — life got a bit too much. So many things happened all at once.
I simply didn’t have the time.
Оr the energy to sit down and write.

I know what you’re thinking: “But writing is your therapy!”
And you’re absolutely right — it is. 100%.
But even therapy can feel impossible
when you’re running on empty.
I was overwhelmed.
Тrying to hold everything together, and so focused on my son that I was just… surviving the day.

Maybe I sound dramatic,
but it really was a tough period.
I’m finally starting to breathe again
and it feels like the storm is almost over.

So — what happened?

Veni decided to go back to university for a bachelor’s degree. What we didn’t know was when he’d actually start. Work was insane — we were managing tons of projects, launching our own, and even running courses in the northwestern part of the country.
Pressure was everywhere.
And on top of that — the house, and all the endless little things.

Then, out of nowhere, on Thursday, October 2nd, he got a call: lectures start on Monday.

We were not ready.
I felt panic rising in me.
He almost cancelled,
but I told him we’d figure it out.

He left on Sunday. And my world… just crashed.
I felt so vulnerable.
My heart was racing.
I couldn’t breathe properly.
It honestly felt like a part of me was missing.
I know it sounds crazy, but I cried so much. I couldn’t believe how deeply I missed him.

Then my OCD kicked in — a whole wave of intrusive thoughts — and I ended up writing to my therapist. I was devastated.

And as if that wasn’t enough, Monday brought more bad news: Veni had lectures every single day until October 26th.
We had hoped to see each other on weekends, but that wasn’t possible.
We hadn’t spent this much time apart in almost eight years.

So, I threw myself into work — way too much of it —
and into caring for our son,
just to keep my mind busy and away from missing him.

But honestly… 
How do you feel when someone you love is suddenly gone for a while?

 If your heart has ever felt this heavy:

→ For the days when everything feels too much  

→ I’m not gone