Running on 5% Battery

I really enjoy writing — mostly in a journal, although writing on my laptop is perfectly fine too.

Unfortunately, today is not a day when I feel like writing. Still, I made a promise to myself to publish every Monday, and I intend to keep it.

So here I am: tired, on my period, which seems to drain every bit of energy from my body, thinking about all the work waiting for me at the office, while I am at home with my little one.

I genuinely do not understand how it is possible for a child to go to kindergarten for one week and then have a runny nose for the next ten days. If I were a scientist, this is exactly what I would dedicate my research to.

The runny nose itself does not worry me because I know he is perfectly fine. What tests my limits endlessly is how often he has to stay at home.

Right now, I have a very simple dream: my book and my bed. That is all I am asking for.

Actually, that is not entirely true.

I also want the house to be completely empty, so nobody can ask me any stupid questions.

I recently started teaching again, which means I have classes tonight. I am trying to save at least some energy for them. However, this morning I cooked both lunch and dinner, did crafts with my little one, and cleaned around the house.

Whatever energy I have left is already far below an adequate level, and the heat outside is definitely not helping.

At this point, I would accept any advice, life hack, or magic trick for dealing with these ordinary but exhausting day-to-day struggles. I am very open-minded and willing to try almost anything.

Lately, everyone at the playground seems to talk only about vacations. They ask me where and when we are going too.

When I tell them that we are not going on vacation this year because of work and the new house, they simply do not understand. It is as though something in their brain short-circuits.

Priorities. What can I say?

At least our little one is going to the seaside with both of his grandmothers. There will probably be a lot to fix when he comes back, but he loves them so much, and he really wants to go.

So I will simply accept my fate.

In the past, I would have mentally punished myself for feeling the way I do right now. I would have told myself that I was lazy, unproductive, and not doing enough.

Now I know that I am not lazy at all.

I am simply tired of being in too many places at once — physically, emotionally, and mentally.

The body needs a break. The brain needs a break. So I am doing my best to slow down, relax, and be a little kinder to myself.

I guess today’s post is simply a collection of random thoughts at the beginning of the week.

Maybe not every post needs to have a clear lesson, a perfect structure, or an inspiring conclusion.

Sometimes showing up is enough.

What helps you cope with days like this? I would genuinely love to hear your thoughts.