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Hi and welcome to my messy mind! It took me 10 years to finally step up and talk about this. I still do not feel brave enough to do it but even if I help one person, it will worth it. My name is Kristina and I am have OCD with intrusive thoughts. Writing helps me relax, focus and keep my mind calmer. I really hope that my blog will be beneficial for others who struggle just like me. I do not have a medical degree so everything I am sharing is my personal experience and how I am dealing with it.
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I do not like events (usually)
I am an owner of a micro company and a chairman
of a Non-Government organization. It is not a big deal, I try to develop both
of them, very slowly. I have a good idea for the NGO but I will wait a bit more
to clear the concept in my mind and for my boy to start kindergarten so I have more
time.
Last week there was an event, which I could not
miss because it was organized by the NGO, and as a chairman of it I had to be
there. It started well; as a former waitress I arranged the catering, made sure
the seats in the conference room are okay and there is water for
everybody. The whole organization process was amazing, loved it. However, when
the guests started to come my stomach clenched. My staff gave me some whiskey
for the nerves I took a sip or two and left it because the presentation was
about to start.
It was all good. Thank God, I did not need to
speak. They have asked me before that and I refused. There was even people from
the local press, which made me so anxious. However, the presentation was over
and the fun part started. Wine and food, lovely combination. I did not know
more than half of the people there and felt so uncomfortable. Furthermore,
mixing whiskey and wine is not wise! I did not get drunk, of course, but I was
stressed that I might get, which was not helpful!
Everything finished for 2 hours. I thought it
was 2 days. People were delighted. They loved the food, the wine from a local
winery; it was a very useful event for everybody.
It took me 3 days to feel like myself, I felt
drained from the event. I told my staff that I do not want to see people until
Christmas and they laughed. I was not joking at all. Unfortunately, that is not
possible so I am continuing to put my introvert side out of its comfort zone by
communicating with human beings.
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