The accident

I had a lovely week. My mother came to visit us, and we had a wonderful time together. She took care of my son while I cooked delicious food for everyone.

When I left her at the station, she cried a lot. My heart was breaking. She is an incredible mother and the best grandmother.

Unfortunately, something happened.

My son had an accident.

He fell from a trailer in our garden and hit his head on a rock. I rushed to pick him up, and as I held him, I saw blood on my hand.

I was terrified.

Seeing him on the ground, crying… the blood… my whole body started shaking.

My partner was next to me, trying to figure out where the blood was coming from, while I rushed to grab our documents and car keys. We went straight to the emergency room.

By the time we got into the car, the bleeding had stopped. He stopped crying too. But inside, I felt like I might pass out from fear.

At the hospital, they examined him and told us it wasn’t serious. They glued the wound.

I felt some relief — but the anxiety stayed.

The strange thing is, I had an appointment with my therapist just an hour earlier. I texted her to tell her what had happened and how I was blaming myself.

Just minutes before the accident, I had told my partner that I felt uneasy about leaving our son to play near the trailer.

Now, I’m trying not to blame myself. I’m trying to think rationally.

But intrusive thoughts are flooding my mind.

My stomach hurts. I feel like I might throw up. The harm OCD thoughts are back, stronger after the shock.

I guess it was just too much stress for my body.

I took something to help me relax, and I will try different techniques to calm myself down.

Slowly, I’m starting to feel a little better.

I just hope my boy is okay and that we’ll have a calm night.

And I really hope that tomorrow, I’ll feel like myself again.

If something like this has ever stayed with you longer than expected:

→ The pressure is overwhelming  

→ When your mind is loud but you keep going