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The power of a mother

  As I mentioned in a previous post , my mother spent a lovely week with us and my boy was very happy to be with his grandmother. I had the opportunity to take care of myself, get some things done and to cook several times a day for everyone, which I enjoyed so much! Not so long ago I started to take pianoclasses . I love them. Moreover, my teacher and I (she is 3 years younger than me) became friends. She has spent the last month in Japan and I cannot wait to see her and to tell me everything about it! Back to my mother: so my mother has never seen me playing (I have sent her some short records of me playing) as we live several hours apart and she has not visited since I’ve had it.   One of the days that we were spending together, I asked if she wanted to hear me play. She got excited and said yes right away. I told her that I have not practiced in almost a month, just did not have the time (I know it sounds silly, especially, since the piano is in my bedroom) and while m...
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The accident

accident, little boy, sad, harm, OCD, stress


I had a lovely week. My mother came to visit us and we had a great time. She took care of my son while I was cooking delicious food for everybody. She cried a lot when I left her at the station, my heart was tearing apart. She is a wonderful mother and the best grandmother!

Unfortunately, my son had an accident. He felt from a trailer parked in our garden and hit his head on a rock. I rushed to pick him up and while hugging him I saw blood on my hand. I was so scared from the view – my boy on the ground crying. The blood on my hand made my entire body shake. My partner was right next to me trying to see where the blood was coming from. I rushed to take our documents and the car keys and went straight to the emergency.

The blood stopped when we got in the car, he stopped crying as well, but inside I was so worried that I had the feeling I will pass out. When we got to the emergency where they took care of him, told us it was not serious and glued his wound. I was somewhat relieved but I was still feeling very anxious. Funny thing, I had an appointment with my therapist an hour before that. I wrote to tell her what happened and how I blame myself. A few minutes before the accident I happened to tell my partner that I was a bit worried about leaving our son alone playing around the trailer.

I am trying not to blame myself and I am trying to think rationally. Many different intrusive thoughts are occupying my mind. My stomach hurts a lot and I want to throw up. Intrusive thoughts provoked by harm OCD are occupying my mind. I guess it was a huge stress for my body. I took a pill to help me relax and I will try different technics to help my condition.

Slowly, I start to feel better. I hope my boy is fine and we will have a calm night. I also hope that I will manage to sleep. In addition, I really pray that tomorrow I will be fine.

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