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The moments when you stop recognizing yourself

  One day I woke up and felt different. I could not say why — it was just a feeling living somewhere inside me. I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. It was me, a tired version, but still me. Yet something within me did not feel the same. Something had changed, and I could almost see how this other person was trying to get out and live my life. I told myself it was just a period and it would pass. I thought that once I took a break, I would return to myself again. But weeks later there was still no time to rest. And slowly, the other person began living my life. This person was nervous, anxious, and a bit mean. Unsatisfied, raising his voice, reacting with negativity. Impatient, not particularly kind, tolerating nothing and no one. Patience simply did not exist for him. I did not want him there, but I did not have the strength to fight him. The exhaustion was too big. Inside, I felt confused, disgusted, and ashamed of my actions. I felt lonely and misunders...
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Less to think about

 

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In the previous post, I shared with you about our last steps to rent the apartment in which we no longer live. In this post, I would like to focus your attention to (in my opinion) the importance to think about less things at a time.

As a person who easily gets overwhelmed, also very emotional, when having too much to think about I become nervous and want to do everything right now, just to get my head clear.

Of course, it does not happen like that because usually “the things” involve other people, schedules and so on. In addition, rarely is it possible to do it alone or in a day. In such situations, writing is the best friend I could ever have. Writing down tasks, thoughts, making a schedule always helps me to reduce the stress and to unload the pressure in my head.

For this reason, finally, I am calmer because the apartment is now ready for rent and the final step is to find somebody who wants to live there. Just the thought of traveling to that apartment made me very anxious because I have to clean it every time (it is not a small one), buy food, unpack everything, put it away, after that pack to leave it. I find it too much, especially, doing it every month.

So now, that is out of my mind and when going to my home city we are staying with my mother and stress levels will be lower. Do not get me wrong, cleaning, grocery shopping, packing etc are still there, but differently. Moreover, you always have somebody extra to help you.

Not having this in my mind, I could spend more time thinking about my dreams, time to write in the blog and to do whatever I like.

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