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I Didn’t Have Permission to Fall Apart

  It was Friday morning, back in the big city where my anxiety constantly feeds its roots from everything around me. I was in an important Zoom meeting — one I needed to focus on and take notes during. My mother was at home working too, trying to help with my three-year-old. But he had different plans. He was difficult that morning. Hitting my laptop. Wanting attention. Being loud. I couldn’t handle it. I felt like a bad mother — someone who couldn’t even raise a good child. I felt that everything concerning him was entirely on me. It had already been two weeks of runny noses and tissues all over the house. The workload was extreme, and I couldn’t take it anymore. And then I crashed — like a wave against a rock. My body started shaking. My lungs felt like they were screaming. I was falling into pieces. I hated losing control. And yet, it was liberating to let it all out. I was furious that the entire mental load felt like it was on me. When I say I don’t receive he...
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Mototrip 2025 - Fourth day – Corsica

 

beach,sand,umbrellas,Corsica,travel,trip


I woke up early (surprise, nobody expected this!). I took a shower and finally managed to wash my hair because it was thick. There was a Carrefour shop with different foods and almost everything you might need. Veni and I wanted to try as much as possible, so we bought 5 pastries and some coffee. Of course, I could not resist and bought our son a fluffy rabbit; he loves rabbits, so I think this will be his new favorite toy.

After buying the food, we went to the beach to enjoy a calm breakfast with a great view. The water of the sea was not that cold so Veni had this brilliant idea to go for a swim. I told him that I am not participating in this, especially at 8:30 am so I went to have some more coffee with the others. Veni came back happy and excited, he clearly had a good time, and so did I enjoying my coffee.

food,breakfast,beach,coffee


We jumped on the bikes around 9:15 am and my nightmare began. I have troubles with the turns and on a bike, it should not be that bad but this morning it was more than awful. I thought I was going to pass out on the bike and as soon as Veni stopped I tried to take a breath, my hands were shaking and one of the guys told me I look very pale. After the break, I felt better and they gave me something to drink, which I would like to believe helped me. Later on after having some delicious food I felt better and the dizziness was almost gone. We had a quick stop at a place, which name I do not remember but it was a small one and everyone was smiling and very polite.

Our plan was to reach Porto that day, but we could not because of the turns and the beautiful views that we stopped to admire and take photos. We reached Calvi and decided to spend the night there. We found this super sweet hotel with a swimming pool next to a lovely beach.

The weather was perfect to go to the beach and so we did, but I refused to get in the water, instead I was writing in my notebook for the blog because I forget quickly, especially when visiting some many places in a short amount of time.

Veni had a great time, climbing on rocks, swimming in the water, I got scared and worried for him a few times, because he went missing, but since he grew up next to Danube River and swam in it I told myself not to worry too much.

After the cold swimming session, we went for a walk. Calvi is a big city, a very expensive one too, but so interesting and beautiful. We grabbed some food to go and sat next to a monument to look at the stunning view and eat in peace. Then we spent more than an hour walking, we finished the night with a glass of whiskey next to the swimming pool.

Despite the dizziness , it was a very emotional day, I liked it!

For more photos --> here.

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