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I Didn’t Have Permission to Fall Apart

  It was Friday morning, back in the big city where my anxiety constantly feeds its roots from everything around me. I was in an important Zoom meeting — one I needed to focus on and take notes during. My mother was at home working too, trying to help with my three-year-old. But he had different plans. He was difficult that morning. Hitting my laptop. Wanting attention. Being loud. I couldn’t handle it. I felt like a bad mother — someone who couldn’t even raise a good child. I felt that everything concerning him was entirely on me. It had already been two weeks of runny noses and tissues all over the house. The workload was extreme, and I couldn’t take it anymore. And then I crashed — like a wave against a rock. My body started shaking. My lungs felt like they were screaming. I was falling into pieces. I hated losing control. And yet, it was liberating to let it all out. I was furious that the entire mental load felt like it was on me. When I say I don’t receive he...

Mototrip 2025 - Fifth day – still in Corsica

 

lovely view,sea,moto trip,travel


Leaving Calvi was fast and nobody could have prepared me for what was coming on that day. Turns, turns and more turns, but guess what no dizziness! I do not know what happened but my body adjusted and I enjoyed the incredible views. The water had such blue color in some places, this baby blue, insane color; my first thought was that those are like private beaches for the Gods.

We quickly stopped next to a small restaurant on the road and had some coffee and a freshly baked raspberry muffins, it was so delicious that I wanted to eat the whole tray! Our next bigger stop, which to stop to eat lunch, was in Porto. I instantly fell in love with this place. It is in the mountains but also you have this wonderful beach. I ate the tastiest salad I ever had, followed by a dessert, which I would gladly have every day for the rest of my life and guess what – all from Carrefour! After an hour of rest, we were back on the bikes and the beautiful views.

raspberry,muffins,cappuccino,mototrip


At the end of the riding day, it started to rain. It was not heavy, there was a rainbow and I absolutely enjoyed it until an accident happened.

We were near Bonifaccio, the streets were all wet, and a traffic light surprised us. Veni was not driving fast but nobody saw the traffic light, he tried to stop, however, I felt like the bike could not stop and was like sliding on ice. We hit the bike in front of us on the side – luggage to luggage. We were fine but our friend who managed to stop at the traffic light was on the ground. I got so worried, but we were still unable to stop the bike. Finally, Veni managed to park and we went back to see our friend, he was fine; the bike was not perfect but nothing too serious.

My OCD started producing intrusive thoughts right away, apparently, provoked by the stress I felt.

Soon, we were back on the road and Veni and I decided to sleep in Bonifaccio, the others slept at a camp site. We just refused to pay a deposit of 280 euros for no sheets, soap or towels and to pay 80 euros or even higher price for the night.

We finally had some alone time. Took a quick shower and we went out for a walk in this beautiful ancient city. During the walk, I saw my old classmate, again! We laughed a lot at those meetings; the chance is so little that we were amazed. The interesting thing is that we visited different places and in the end, we met again! We separated after a 15 min talk, everybody sharing their impressions from Corsica. Veni and I then continued to look for a place to eat, everywhere the prices were pretty much the same, deadly, however, we chose Cantina Doria. It looked very hospitable, and the staff were very kind. Veni ordered a whole menu for himself and a beer, I decided to have a pasta and a glass of wine – rose. The portions were so big that I could not finish my pasta! Veni had an octopus salad, a fish with zucchini and potatoes and finished with a chocolate cake with whipped cream and some other syrup, it was fantastic. Veni had to finish my pasta as well, since I could not eat it all. The wine was very good with a nice density and aroma. After we finished our dinner we went for a long walk in between the narrow streets and stairs, it was so romantic I loved it!

I ended in bed writing notes for the blog in the notebook I bought from the ferry to Corsica. I was too excited to go to sleep because of all the emotions during the day.

More photos here.

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