All in my mind (eye situation)

Everything seemed to stop… and then suddenly, everything happened at once.

As I previously wrote, my boyfriend and I are trying to make our garden a better place. All of this takes a lot of time, effort and money. We truly enjoy the work and try to do most of it on our own. I love that we are learning new things. After the “hammer situation”, I had to do more things at home and everything concerning our child. It was difficult, both emotionally and physically. Another “lovely” surprise — we all got sick. My little one (2 yo) was sick for the first time, but it was not that bad and I did not get extremely worried.

I don’t know why, but lately everything we start ends up on pause. Different reasons from everybody, but this has put us in a situation where we could not finish the space in the garden where my boyfriend will fix his motorcycle and my baby boy will be playing. In addition, it is getting colder and we have not changed the heating system, so the temperature in our bedroom sometimes is 16.8 degrees, which I find cold (especially when you are sick)! Now, suddenly, everything is almost happening in one day, which leads to a lot of stress.

When my boyfriend hit his hand with the hammer, it was almost dark and we were so tired. We made a promise not to go so far because our health is most important. It was dark, and we could barely see anything but we were cleaning in front of our garage. My boyfriend was using a headlamp to help dig soil that he was putting in a wheelbarrow. Our little boy was playing next to us. It was so dark; I almost hit my eye оn the corner of the wheelbarrow. It happened twice, and I got irritated. I stopped and told my boyfriend this was unnecessary. He agreed.

We put everything back in the house. Came in, took showers, everything was fine, until it hit me. Intrusive thoughts about my eye started creeping in. I was so tired of work I could not think straight. 

One thought after another.
Different scenarios.
Мaking me feel uncomfortable. 

I looked myself in the mirror and saw nothing wrong, but my mind wouldn’t let me go. I talked about it with my boyfriend, it helped just a bit. What helps me most is writing about it.

This is what OCD tries to make me believe. Something that is not true. I still cannot find the right words to express it but I will do my best in the future. I hope others understand us better and be more supportive.

If your body has ever scared you for no clear reason:

→ The memory test  

→ OCD as a reminder of the present