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For the days when everything feels too much

  Some days feel like a nightmare — full of pressure and rush. On those days I feel tired, overwhelmed, chased by tasks. It feels like my head is going to explode. Everything slips through my fingers and I lose control, unable to do anything and forced to do everything at the same time. The pressure squeezes me in a deadly hug, trying to drain all my energy and leave me barely breathing on the floor. It feels like there is a fog around me and my mind tries to see through it. Everything becomes too loud, too fast, or sometimes painfully slow. Anxiety fills my body like poison. When I feel that I’m losing the present from my sight, I try to stop and breathe. I take a small moment for myself — closing my eyes, trying to find the safe space in my soul, the refuge inside my body — and I tell myself: Everything will be fine. This will pass. You are strong enough. I try to return to the present by focusing on one task, just one thing I can do right now. Finishing that one small thi...
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My new passion – piano

 




I have always loved to listen to music, sing (as much as I can) and dance. I wanted to dance professionally but my parents had other plans so I trained martial arts. I used to sing at school in the choir. It was a lovely experience and I enjoyed it very much.

Another desire of mine was to know how to play an instrument. My first love was the guitar. I bought my first one when I was 15 years old. I struggled twice to learn to play it without any success. I was not serious enough.

When we came to live in the village, I was looking for something appropriate for my boy to go to in the close town. He was almost 2 years old when we started visiting a music teacher. They were playing with different instruments and he quite enjoyed it. Suddenly, he started to be very distracted and I decided to stop him from going. My idea was he to go to piano lessons in the future.

Best thing I did for myself in years – I decided to start piano lessons. I did not know anything about it. I did not know if I would enjoy it but I desperately needed to do something, to learn something, to have my own thing, a hobby were I could be me and express what I feel inside.

Few months later, I absolutely love it! Slowly, I am learning, still just in the begging, but I am so grateful that I let myself try it and pushed away all the OCD thoughts. My teacher is amazing; we have so much in common! We both love reading and we started to play board games and do puzzles together.

Currently, I am learning the moonlight sonata. I found that it focusses me, my mind goes blank and clear, I feel so calm, everything around me disappears. I guess it is a new tool to relieve stress and would be helpful when I have OCD thoughts.

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