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Hi and welcome to my messy mind! It took me 10 years to finally step up and talk about this. I still do not feel brave enough to do it but even if I help one person, it will worth it. My name is Kristina and I am have OCD with intrusive thoughts. Writing helps me relax, focus and keep my mind calmer. I really hope that my blog will be beneficial for others who struggle just like me. I do not have a medical degree so everything I am sharing is my personal experience and how I am dealing with it.
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My new passion – piano
I have always loved to listen to music, sing
(as much as I can) and dance. I wanted to dance professionally but my parents
had other plans so I trained martial arts. I used to sing at school in the
choir. It was a lovely experience and I enjoyed it very much.
Another desire of mine was to know how to play
an instrument. My first love was the guitar. I bought my first one when I was
15 years old. I struggled twice to learn to play it without any success. I was
not serious enough.
When we came to live in the village, I was
looking for something appropriate for my boy to go to in the close town. He was
almost 2 years old when we started visiting a music teacher. They were playing
with different instruments and he quite enjoyed it. Suddenly, he started to be
very distracted and I decided to stop him from going. My idea was he to go to
piano lessons in the future.
Best thing I did for myself in years – I
decided to start piano lessons. I did not know anything about it. I did not
know if I would enjoy it but I desperately needed to do something, to learn
something, to have my own thing, a hobby were I could be me and express what I
feel inside.
Few months later, I absolutely love it! Slowly,
I am learning, still just in the begging, but I am so grateful that I let
myself try it and pushed away all the OCD thoughts. My teacher is amazing; we
have so much in common! We both love reading and we started to play board games
and do puzzles together.
Currently, I am learning the moonlight sonata.
I found that it focusses me, my mind goes blank and clear, I feel so calm,
everything around me disappears. I guess it is a new tool to relieve stress and
would be helpful when I have OCD thoughts.
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