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For the days when everything feels too much

  Some days feel like a nightmare — full of pressure and rush. On those days I feel tired, overwhelmed, chased by tasks. It feels like my head is going to explode. Everything slips through my fingers and I lose control, unable to do anything and forced to do everything at the same time. The pressure squeezes me in a deadly hug, trying to drain all my energy and leave me barely breathing on the floor. It feels like there is a fog around me and my mind tries to see through it. Everything becomes too loud, too fast, or sometimes painfully slow. Anxiety fills my body like poison. When I feel that I’m losing the present from my sight, I try to stop and breathe. I take a small moment for myself — closing my eyes, trying to find the safe space in my soul, the refuge inside my body — and I tell myself: Everything will be fine. This will pass. You are strong enough. I try to return to the present by focusing on one task, just one thing I can do right now. Finishing that one small thi...
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Last few days

 

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I have a lot of work lately. Both my partner and I are doing our best to take every possible opportunity to work and make money because (keep your fingers cross) we will meet the owner of the apartment that we want to buy this week. I hope that when we see it to feel it as our new home. After that, there is a lot of documentation awaiting us, as well a bank loan, but I feel ready for a new interesting change in our life.

These days not only we work hard but our son got sick. He just has this high temperature making him want to sleep all day. Even if he is quietly lying on the sofa, I still worry for him and I struggle to focus fully on the working process. I hope he feels better because I want to go to the office and work from there with my employees. I hired a new one and I want to make sure she understands the work and her tasks.

The weather changes are incredible; it rains, it is sunny – a proper Spring. Usually, this affects my OCD and sometimes I get these periods of constant anxiety; however, for now I feel fine and hope this year it passes me by.

Unfortunately, I do not feel quite well in the village where we live. I have not told this story but soon I might. It is about this constant tree cutting. It continues now. Moreover, it is not this sanitary cutting or just trimming, they root them out. I just do not understand it. It starts to look like a dessert here, a muddy one. So many creatures are homeless now, especially birds. I made them some feeders in our garden as I enjoy watching them eat. This relaxes me a bit, as I did something to help them cope with this situation.

 I hope that next month we are going on a motorcycle trip! If it happens, I will take you with us. I will show you more of our life and tell you more stuff that is personal.

I hope you enjoy some spring sunshine! J

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