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This Is Not for Everyone

  I am not here seeking admiration or devotion. I am here to be — and to show others that this way of being is not scary. I write because it is my salvation from messy thoughts and overwhelming days. Writing puts my mind in order. It gives me space for self-love and for catching my breath. I cannot be here all the time. Actually, I probably could — but I do not want to. I do not want to pay the price of viral fame. I do not want to lose myself in the illusion of the world around me. I do not want to forget where it all started or lose the ground under my feet. Being able to disappear is a necessity for me. It allows me to rest, to recharge, and to stay focused and calm. I disappear from the noise. From expectations. From the pressure that tells you that if you do not constantly do more, you will lose track or fail. When I come back, I see the world more clearly. Without pink glasses. Without dark thoughts taking over. I feel grounded again. I can look at...
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Last few days

 

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I have a lot of work lately. Both my partner and I are doing our best to take every possible opportunity to work and make money because (keep your fingers cross) we will meet the owner of the apartment that we want to buy this week. I hope that when we see it to feel it as our new home. After that, there is a lot of documentation awaiting us, as well a bank loan, but I feel ready for a new interesting change in our life.

These days not only we work hard but our son got sick. He just has this high temperature making him want to sleep all day. Even if he is quietly lying on the sofa, I still worry for him and I struggle to focus fully on the working process. I hope he feels better because I want to go to the office and work from there with my employees. I hired a new one and I want to make sure she understands the work and her tasks.

The weather changes are incredible; it rains, it is sunny – a proper Spring. Usually, this affects my OCD and sometimes I get these periods of constant anxiety; however, for now I feel fine and hope this year it passes me by.

Unfortunately, I do not feel quite well in the village where we live. I have not told this story but soon I might. It is about this constant tree cutting. It continues now. Moreover, it is not this sanitary cutting or just trimming, they root them out. I just do not understand it. It starts to look like a dessert here, a muddy one. So many creatures are homeless now, especially birds. I made them some feeders in our garden as I enjoy watching them eat. This relaxes me a bit, as I did something to help them cope with this situation.

 I hope that next month we are going on a motorcycle trip! If it happens, I will take you with us. I will show you more of our life and tell you more stuff that is personal.

I hope you enjoy some spring sunshine! J

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